I was recently described as demure by a recent acquaintance. Obviously, he does not know me long enough to say otherwise but it surprised me. My initial thought was – that’s a first! I’ll take it. I’ve been called other things in the past and it was surprisingly pleasant to hear. I considered it a compliment really. First impressions really make a big difference.
We are judged by what people see in the surface, our appearance, our actions, what we say.
When I decided to take on a life of a trainer and coach, many people I talked to in my former job said I’d be perfect for it. It suits me. It’s a natural path for me. Even strangers! A person I just met after a short talk I did, said that I look like I’ve been doing it all my life. Funny how other people see our true selves more than we see in ourselves.
I was recently coaching someone and he turned the conversation to me by describing my personal qualities from what he has learned in the eleven months he has known me. He gave a litany of qualities, what I like and dislike and left out things that he was not comfortable disclosing. I had a feeling it was something negative only because he specifically said he chooses not to share them at the moment. “There are others but I will not mention them now.” He was very sure of himself. I must say he was right in his analysis. Very perceptive.
I also have to admit that I did not feel comfortable while he was reciting his litany but then I stopped and forced myself to listen. Feedback is a gift. I decided to accept it.
Seeing ourselves in someone else’s eyes can be unnerving. It could feel intrusive, pleasant or surprising. The thing is, whatever armor we choose to wear, whatever character we channel in our personality, people see it and deal with whatever it is we choose to be. It’s really one’s choice. So we must choose well.
